Monday, October 11, 2010

E is for Exhausted... Excited, but Exhausted!

Finally, I am back to blog! I have what I think is my second night off from work this whole year tonight. It's just because my husband is unavailable tonight and I have to stay home to watch our tot. Otherwise, I will have had ONE day off for the whole year! Before I started in social services, I looked well-rested, sexy. I had bedroom eyes. Long, luxurious legs. Smooth feet. Gorgeous, thick hair..... Now, I am *haggard*! I am definitely going to start researching careers that result in your looking Better the more you work as opposed to the opposite. Maybe I should look into starting a career in athleticism, pornography, or culinary arts. I love the way Rachel Ray looks! Just so happy and cooking and eating and laughing. I could do that everyday for a living!

Anyway, this week has been nothing but work work work. I have had the most terrible migraines, which I am sure are all related to what I call "Vagina Overload". I work with all women in a program that serves girls. If the girls aren't trying to kill each other over random things like stolen tampons, crushes on basketball players, and who the biggest whore of the crew is...then I have my co-workers who have it out for each other. Let me just say that women are SO vindictive and evil! I don't know how men manage not to be this crazy and over emotional about things that don't matter, but I must have a little bit of that going through my veins-- Thank Goodness! I really just don't have the energy to care about what people think or say about me. I guess that's because I am, from what I have observed, the only indie/activist/artistic carefree spirit in the company. Although I walk a lonely path, it keeps me clear of the drama usually.

Sigh! Big, loud, irritable Sigh! It's MONDAY!!!! That means I have either four or five days left before the art show application is due. I am so nervous. I am trying to stay in the game, mentally, but I am terrified! I read over everything last night, while ignoring the kids asking me what color my bra was, whether I was mixed because my hair isn't nappy enough for me to be fully Black, and whether I "wanted" this male co-worker who is the same age (and has the exact aggravating same personality) as my Father! Thank goodness for internet phones! They are the perfect distraction in any situation.

I realized that the application is $300. Luckily, they give $275 of it back if you aren't accepted. Part of me is thinking, "Awesome! Then I'll have some extra money that I didn't plan on having" ... Then I slapped myself (mentally). I mean, what the hell am I thinking?! I don't want that money back! Ok, I do want to spend it on lingerie, shoes, and sexy sweater dresses... But what I want more than anything right now is a Booth In that Art Show!!!

So what do I have completed? Three baby blankets with sweaters and hats. I have an afghan for an adult. I have about 200-300 envelopes. I have 25 basic journals/sketchbooks prepared for stitching, but I ran out of paste so I am not 100% ready to bind the books yet. I am off tonight, but I will not be sleeping in. Oh no. I will be sitting in front of my TV watching action films like Spiderman trilogy, Matrix Trilogy, X Men trilogy, 300, Wanted, Shoot 'Em Up, and The Punisher. I will be hooked up to an I.V. with coffee going directly into my veins. I am also thinking of stealing some concerta/adderal from the local pharmacy to stave off the attention deficit disorder for the evening. OK. Cancel the last two. I can't be in the art show if I am behind bars for stealing narcotics. I also hate needles, so I will have to get the caffeine into my system by more traditional methods, like drinking it with lots of cream!

My point is that I have just two days to really put a hurt on some art. Wednesday, I am working extra hours again, and Thursday is my personal deadline. Wednesday, I plan to have my pictures up - GAH! So nervous! I am so not a photog!!! Yes, my imaginary readers, if you hear a, I am not wrestling a stegosaurus... no, I am not being attacked by multiple Chuckie Dolls... and no, I did not find out that I am pregnant with septuplets. It will be me expressing my frustration and exhaustion in regards to getting things posted on my website, flickr account, and wherever else I need to put them.

For now, I am struggling to not think of anything other than Family time. My daughter has this wild poof on her head that resembles a full afro, but it is actually in a pony tail. Hair must be tamed! My gorgeous, hard working, ever so patient husband has cleaned and is now cooking dinner, which takes me off the hook from those tiring domestic responsibilities for the evening. For the moment, I am renting movies, eating and spending time with the Fam. With the occasional voice note on art ideas.

Until tomorrow .... where I will 1- Sleep. 2- cook yet another chicken recipe and I will make broccoli salad for the first time. I love broccoli salad! 3- complete the finishing touches on my books and move on to JEWELRY! 4- shop for beads and jewelry notions! I am super excited about jewelry. Like crochet, I am surprisingly rather good at it. However, I must go now. My husband is staring jealously at my laptop as though he has a magical mallet. I believe in positive energy, so send some my way for the next 2 days!

1 comment:

  1. Come on, girl! As if you could ever look 'wrecked', a little tired maybe, but that's all! And Rachel Ray has a herd of make-up-artists, for sure!

    And especially for you: Loads of positive energy! :-)))