Monday, July 12, 2010

Did I do that?.... Well, sorta, but Not Really...

...So I am at work, blasting show tunes on Yahoo! Music, thinking about all the projects I have going on... And then suddenly, a speech came into my head. This motivational speech from a National Sales Director in Mary Kay, back when I was conviced I was supposed to drive pink cadis for the remainder of my life. Pamela Shaw's voice yelled at me "MANY people have what it takes to start great, but few people have the COURAGE to finish great". And then I was bombarded with the half ass website I have...this blog that I am too lazy to type on weekly... the 500 pictures on my camera that haven't journeyed to my laptop...the assholes that keep stealing $12 from my account because I have been "calling them" to stop for months.... and all the journals, blankets, dresses, jewelry, letter sets, and scrapbooks that are sitting all over my small apartment unfinished.

I get all these great ideas in my dreams.... and while in the shower. Now, if I could MacGyver a mechanism that was implanted into my brain, water-proof, of course, that would come out of my ear through telepathy, record all dreams and thoughts, and then project them when I need them... I might be more focused. I would have a data base of amazing ideas at my beck & call. Unfortunately, my work ethic looks more like this:
Oh! When did I get that website? Like, last week? NO?! In NOVEMBER 2009!!! Craps! I better format it and set it up! But what was the purpose of it again? Hmmm.... I think I want a Blog instead. Oh! I love Flickr... I should have an account there. But, would that mean I need to upload pics myself? Well, maybe I should sew something. Actually, I had a dream about this cute oversized tote! Ohh! I passed this cute little girl and now I will crochet an amigurumi bunny! But, uh.... I actually have no idea how to crochet amigurumi anything. Time to learn another skill, and while I am at it, I am going to lose weight by doing super heat yoga, which is next to the pie kitchen, so I can have a snack afterwards. Isn't Apple Pie kinda good for you? You know...carbs for energy lost in the cycling session? Or was I jogging? Who knows, but I think cinnamon ice cream has some health perks too....for like, cellulite or something right? Having food*gasm just thinking about it. Oh!!! EYE SHADOW!!!!

Yes, I realize that I do this all day everyday. I also am 100% aware of the fact that I go home at the end of each day mentally exhausted, literally with 4 large totes of random half-done projects and books on how to learn to do more, a long sheet of paper with passwords & logins to different random sites, sore without any memory of having exerted physical effort, bloated from eating who knows what, and with two different colors of eye shadow on each of my eyes. In other words, I am knowingly making myself (and quite possibly also everyone who comes into contact with me) CRAZY!!!

So the name of the game for this week is to ONLY work on projects that have already been BEGUN.... <-- Began?? Beginned? Whatever! I will also post some inventory on my website, after I figure out how to do that. Although being focused gives me indigestion like whoa, it really is time for me to grow up and be "serious". Let's see if Success will be MINE or whether I will die of indigestion before my next post!

Monday, July 5, 2010

Finally Scratched That ITCH!

I have been "starting" a blog for at least 3 years now. I have had this blog since May 30th--empty. Part of it was I was at a loss for words. I love to journal and write my snail mail pals all over the world. For some reason, however, this "blog" box was super intimidating!

The other, bigger, part of it is that I have absolutely no concept of time and I also get distracted easily. Truthfully, I thought I just started this blog last week! I am my worst enemy when it comes to getting things accomplished. I always start, but generally get too bored/too side-tracked to finish....and then I struggle with the "itch" of knowing I should be doing something other than the random activity I have chosen at the time.

Well, I am finally "scratching that ITCH". I have been *itching* to Blog forEVER. I have been *itching* to enter a craft show. I have been *itching* to lose what has now turned into 50 pounds (loud, dying, shriek). I have been *itching* to come out from the rock under which I have hidden for the past three years.

***Disclaimer*** Motherhood and Wifeydom are great. I love my family and I live for them. My husband is tremendous and no one could love me better than he does. My daughter is amazing and hilarious, and I literally wake up each day specifically just to see her face.....But there is something inside of me that is dying to be unleashed. I was never meant to be a woman bound by the drudgery of middle class family life. I was meant to get out into the world and accomplish bigger, see more, do more. I was not supposed to suspend my life's journey upon my third tri-mester of pregnancy. I'm not bitter or resentful.... I am longing... *itching*... to GROW!