Friday, January 27, 2012

Baby Rainbows

Good Morning!

Well, I mentioned in my last post that I have been working on a new project.  It's a baby blanket :)  Well, in time, when I am completely finished, it will be more than a baby blanket.  I can't wait to finish it.  I haven't worked on a project in Months!  Probably some time in October was the last time I was working on anything.  It was a scarf...and not even one that I planned to wear! 

I love making things for babies.  I don't know why, but as soon as some gets knocked up, I start cranking out ideas for new projects.  Lucky for me, I am positive that we are going through some sort of Baby Boom due to the economic crisis.  I have never seen so many women pregnant at the same time!  And that's good news for me because it gets my wheels turning, my mind goes into craft overdrive.  I guess there's something about creating a new life that gets me motivated.  Anything goes when it comes to kids.  Lots of colors, prints, designs.... I have a HUGE imagination, and I get to let it run completely wild when I am making things for children.

Whoa..... I just found out if you push "enter" and you aren't careful, your post will be published automatically.... very weird!

Enough babble, let me show you what I have so far... Be patient.  The lighting in my apartment is terrible, so I'll show two of each (with flash & without flash) but nothing is as true as seeing it right in front of you!
No flash

No flash

I really love the rainbow color on the outside of the flowers.  It's Simply Soft "Baby Brights".  As you know from some of my other projects, I am obsessed with rainbows.  My friend is very traditional and I think she would be more appreciative of pastel baby colors, so I worked with what I had in my hefty stash! 

I have been working on paying off my debts so that I can just start to save... I haven't been able to come up with a specific reason to save, but I am 100% committed to paying debt.  That means all of my projects will have to be very decisive.  No purchasing yarn just because I "think it would look good for a project one day".  It feels good to have to start exercising restraint and being responsible for a change.  It's been a long time since I have made a decision and followed through with it 100%. 

I will admit that I have been ...cheating.  I just NEVER EVER SET FOOT IN A CRAFT STORE!  I am running out of the off-white/cream color for the African Flowers.... I am going to have to walk into some store to get more of it.  That is when my restraint and discipline will truly be tested!  Stay tuned to see what happens....Will I sprint into the store like a maniac escaping the police, buy ONLY the off-white color I need and then run out of the store like my ass just caught fire?  Or... will I browse for an hour and leave the store with $100 worth of random items to use "for something one day"? Goodness, I really hope it's the second option! Wish me luck!!!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Happy (Late) New Year!

Well, Well..... What have we here?  Finally, my FIRST post in the new year?!  Let me tell you, I wasn't planning on making such a late post.  Back in....October or something, I came up with this phenomenal plan to start posting at least once per week.  I even thought about doing some posts in advance and having them set to show up later.  Anyway, it was such a great idea, but I feel into my "usual nasty habit" : PROCRASTINATION.

Oh my Goodness!!!!!  It is such a poison to my existence!  hahahaha  .... Oh wait, it's not funny!  From now on, I am taking my issues with waiting until the last minute for EVERYTHING extremely seriously!  I mean it.  No more waiting around.  What happens every time is I come up with a grand idea...but for whatever reason, I just have to wait for something magical to happen...for the stars to align...for me to see a meteor shower...for me to lose 50 pounds...for me to have another baby...for me to travel the entire world... and Theeeeeennnnn I start whatever plan I thought of.  But, as you know, after all that, I usually have no freaking idea what the hell I was so excited about!  Or worse, I am bored with the thought of it because I have been thinking about it like crazy but I haven't DONE anything!

No more of that.  I didn't make a post because I thought about the ideas until I got sick of it.  Then, I had some personal crazy-time nonsense that happened in my little world.  I wasn't able to think of anything creative to do or anything nice to write about.  I thought my whole life was about to go through a very serious (negative!!!) change.  I was so worried that I actually "unplugged" for a while.  No facebook.  No texting.  No blogging or blog reading.  No emails.  No snail mails.  I just cleaned my house like a maniac and tried to figure everything out in my head.  Lucky for me, my universe never collapsed, but now I know that it could very well happen one day.....

I have learned something from all that.  I shut down and shut everyone out.  I just cleaned my house and sat around inside my head.  I made it all about the negativity.  I did the WRONG thing!  Rather than turning to the arts, I shut the arts out of my life.  I never handle stress or disappointment that way.  Who have I become??  After three months of handling all the difficulties and trying to get everything back on track, I am left with no motivation.  I am just totally worn out and feeling totally lost.  I hate that feeling.  Maybe it's true that I feel  lost, but I AM NOT LOST!

Back in college, while studying fine arts, I remember speaking to a professor about my lack of motivation.  I started to struggle with depression for the first time in my life and I didn't want to do anything.  Professor (weird name I can't pronounce) told me that when I can't think of what to do, it is MUCH better to do SOMETHING rather than nothing.  I never understood that until this past weekend.  I have been sitting and thinking and pondering and planning and thinking some more.  Finally, I picked up my hook.........and I started to make random motifs.  I must admit that I don't like any of them.  The colors looked like vomit.  The designs were boring and uninspired (like me!). 

But, I feel like I am finally working again, like I am back to expressing myself.  The funny thing about it all is I realized that I am irritated with crochet, but I have a DEGREE in FINE ARTS!  I can do all sorts of wonderfully artsy things!  And then all of a sudden.... I am back doing research for new ideas, projects, techniques; I am pinning things on pinterest;I am facebooking with my friends, working on letters for my pen pals, whipping out my color pencils, acrylics, and rulers to start working on some paper project ANNNNDDDD(!!!!)  I came up with a crochet project that I really am excited about.

This year, I know what I want for myself.  Almost a MONTH later, I finally have my "New Year" resolutions!
1-- Get the fuck out of debt!  I am ready to shop and try new things without feeling guilty/ financially irresponsible!
2-- Lose 50 pounds. I've had some medical issues so it's time to drop some weight and start feeling good again :)
3-- Travel.  I have not gone on ONE single vacation in 5 YEARS!  That's so not me!  I used to travel all over the place several times a year. 
4-- LIVE FOR MYSELF!!!!!!!  I am a mother, wife, sister, daughter, youth counselor, friend........ all of those roles are draining and a lot of times aren't more rewarding than they are draining.  I need to stop being guilty about creating balance.  I am doing things for ME this year that I was afraid to before.  I am not devoting all my time to work and family.  I am taking time for ME this year that I always felt terrible for desiring in the past.

These resolutions seem simple and ambiguous enough for me to accomplish them.

So.... What about you???  How do you get back on track if you lose your artsy mojo?  How do you handle stress or being overwhelmed?  Do you have plans for reinvention for this year or will you continue down the path you began last year???  I'm always curious for a "taste" of others' lives!

........what?  A post with no pictures?  Ohhh noooo!  LOL :)  I didn't have any pics that would make any sense in this post.  I will definitely have pics to present you with in the future posts! Until then-- Happy Be-Lated New Year!