Friday, February 27, 2015

Tummy Whenever :: 33 Weeks

Thank Goodness It is FRIIIIDAY!

I am so ready for this week to end!  I have a lot going on this weekend and I can't wait to get it started tomorrow with a spa date/Girls Day Out.  It's going to be great.

I am so sorry for skipping out on last week. We had horrible weather and as a result, The Hubs and our Little Darling were home most of the week.  The Hubs went to work one day and our Little Darling had school on one day.  No, they weren't both gone on the same day.  Yes, they make me crazy and demand a lot of my time and attention while they are home.  Yes, they make HUGE messes for no reason while they are home.  Yes, The Hubs turns our living room into his workspace for conference calls all day when he works from home.  No, I didn't have any quiet space or time to hear myself think and blog last week. 

Spending time at home with everyone was kind of awesome in a way.  Prior to last week, I was really short and testy with everyone.  I am still a little impatient and irritable due to the hormones and being uncomfortable, but I can tell when I am being reasonable and when I am being "That scary pregnant woman".  Admitting fault is half the battle, right?

The other thing that came out of the three of us spending time together was finding out how little we know about..... well, everything!  Ha.  I mean, some of the conversations that came out of last week were a total, complete, embarrassing mess.  As usual, I don't mind to share.  I am hoping we aren't the only ones who have NO CLUE about these things.

So one day, I decided to just really examine myself in the mirror.  I have completely let myself go by now.  I don't even care anymore.  It's just too much work to maneuver around this giant belly to make myself pretty below the waist.  While in the mirror, I notice my pubic hair seems as though it grows higher than it should.  Of course, I go complain to The Hubs, wondering why he even stands for it.

Hubs:  What's wrong with your pubes?
Me: Aren't they growing up too high?  Is it because everything is stretched out?
Hubs:  What do you mean?  I don't know your life!  How do YOU now know what your own pubic area should look like?
Me:  First, we both know I haven't had pubes in forever.  I had them for about all of 7-10 days before giving birth 8 yrs ago.  I have NO IDEA what it's supposed to look like down there.  It's not even my problem.  Do you think I should call Kelli?
Hubs:  Who's Kelli?
Me: My aesthetician. She's seen my junk more than I have.  She's been all up in it.  Maybe she can help me figure out this mystery.
Hubs:  OMG!  Leave Kelli out of this!

I didn't call, but I keep watching that region...  Just in case.

I come home from an appointment and explain to The Hubs that I am not making much progress.  My cervix is soft, but no dilation just yet.  (Reminder: This blog is backdated.  I am now 36 weeks.)  I also explain that our Little Someone's head is there, but not low enough yet.

Me:  We should totally go have a bunch of sex.  I am not trying to go past my due date and/or be induced again.  Dick juice is a magic potion for getting that ball rolling!
Hubs:  That's what I'm talkin' bout!!!  But there's like no progress at all this time?  Is that normal?
Me:  How should I know what's normal?  The head's there.  You can feel it.
Hubs:  FEEL IT?  With WHAT?
Me:  Your hand, moron.  What are you talking about?
Hubs:  Why?  How?  Who does that?
Me:  How do you think they check for dilation?!  They shove their fingers up there and move back and forth, counting centimeters.
Hubs:  You're not letting the OBGYN fist you at the appointments, are you?
Me:  What the hell?!  You crazy perv!  NO!

 Several weeks ago, I go to a birthday party for my friend's daughter.  While there, we all start to talk about being pregnant and our experiences with childbirth.  My friend tells me that her vagina "got fat" in preparation for childbirth.....  Uhm, Ma'am?  Come again?  Since then, every time I go to the bathroom, I use a hand mirror to look to see if any "Fattening" of my vagina meat has happened.  It's a weird angle, with the belly in the way and all, but I think she looks the same for now.  My lower abdomen and pubic area is chubby though.  I wonder if that's what she meant.  I have no idea what changes occur during labor.  I never will because, honestly, I just want my baby.  Everything in between is totally a blur and so not my problem!

Finally, the last instance of inappropriate cluelessness in our family to occur recently...  I am fixing my hair and my Little Darling is in my bathroom, going through things.  She sees some Preparation H pads and ointment and puts the tube right up by her face to examine it.  All of this happens so quickly, before I can stop her.

Little Darling:  Mommy, what's this?  What's the "O" word?
Me:  The "O" word is "ointment".  It's Booty Cream, sweetie.
LD:  EEEW!  Next time tell me before I put it by my face!  What do you do with Booty Cream?
Me: First, the tube doesn't go near my butt, just the medicine is put on a Q-tip.  Secondly, when you have a baby in your belly, sometimes they lie in a weird position and can put pressure on your butt.  It hurts, and for some people your booty hole starts to get really swollen.  This is to help make sure my booty hole doesn't swell.
Little Darling:  What???  I thought my sister is coming out of your Bah-gina, not your BOOOOOOOOOTY!  [And she runs away waving her arms...]

We are only human and we all clearly have so much to learn!  Hahahahahahaaaa!!!!

Have a Great Weekend!!!

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Tummy Tuesday:: 32 Weeks

Woops!  I totally loaded a bunch of pictures into this post yesterday, planning to come back to it so I write and link everything and then upload the post, and then BOOM!  Mom Brain kicked in yet again.  I will have to change the name of these posts to "Tummy Whenevers" because they rarely happen on a Tuesday anymore.  Gotta work on that.  Or not. LOL.  Honestly, I am getting down to the wire and I am so not in the mood to do much of anything lately.

This weekend, The Hubs took some extra time off work to cater to all my nesting needs.  And Thank The Lord for that!  In one day, we managed to find a new mattress for our bed, which was killing both of our backs.  I would have hated to add chiropractic drama to my list of ailments following delivering a baby.  The next day, we managed to organized, clean, rearrange and set up the basics of our Baby Nook.  I am trying not to get too excited about it because I know I still have SO MUCH work to do, but I am all about celebrating each small win along the path to overall success.

Forgive me.  I am in a "Messy Hair, Don't Care" mood lately.  LOL.  I never wear my hair like this in public, but then again....  I also don't bother getting dressed or doing my makeup when I go in public anymore either!

Thanks to a massive amount of water retention and constipation, at 32 weeks, I looked like I was 40 weeks!  I have gotten that a little under control now, as I am heading into week 34.  Having this giant, swollen body made it hard to find the energy and motivation to do any decorating this weekend, but I did take some time to figure out a few ideas for things that I LOVE!

I love sharing my Pinterest, Instagram, and Etsy finds.  I am all about my online inspo!  Several of these things are out of my planned Baby Nook budget, but fortunately, am a Crafty Mama.  I will be able to make similar things on my own, but here are some ideas, links, and info for anyone who is also in the works of designing a children's space in their homes and they would like to shop.  I am a HUGE supporter of Shopping Small and Supporting Small Businesses!  If you would like to check out the shops below, just click the links in the captions.

I am obsessed with monogrammed initials as focal points in baby rooms.  I love it!  I will admit that we have 6 weeks left as of today, and we have NO concrete baby names chosen.  The crazy nesting senses are telling me to pick a name so I can hurry and buy one of these, but the sensible part of me is saying that I can wait.  I gotta see our Little Someone before we pick out a name.  We have to make sure it fits.

I love-Love-LOVE this shop!  They have the most gorgeous hand made mobiles (some are even musical mobiles!), banners, wall hangers, and decorations.  Everything is in the most beautiful colors, shapes, designs, and patterns.  
Because most of the online mobiles that I have seen and love are rather costly, I will be fashioning my own handmade mobile.  Gotta love living life on a budget!
Instagram:  @thebigredheart  online shop: The Big Red Heart
 I LOVE her work.  Never in 90 shmabillion years would I ever be able to work up the talent to produce this fine detail and this loveliness!  In her online shop, you can find letter work and handmade cards.  On her IG page, she has several photos of personalized projects people have requested.  She's such an inspiration and I would really love to have some gorgeous hoop art in my Little Somone's Baby Nook.

Instagram: @xoeinding Online Store: XoEinDing

These little pillows are SO adorable!!!  I have seen several variations of cloud-shaped and fruit-shaped pillows. I love anything Kawaii, so this is right up my alley.  I also love the muted color scheme.  I like bright colors, but I am sharing a space with my Little Someone and I prefer a serene feeling inside my bedroom.  She can travel to my Little Darling's big girl room for bright, loud colors and decorations.  LOL.  This is a shop that's based in Denmark and their website is Danish and items are sold in the Danish Krone, but they do have international shipping!  So that's a huge plus.

As of right now, I have so many ideas that I am barely able to keep anything straight in my mind!  I am terrible with interior design.  I am more of a "Do you have everything you need to be comfortable and survive?" kinda gal.  But the closer I get to D-Day, the stronger my urge becomes to make a special place for this sweet little girl.

 In the next few days, I will have to work on a few things to complete my plans....

The GOAL is to have a concrete color scheme and theme.  I also really need finish the bedding set for which I have bought fabric.  This is a Must!  LOL.  The Hubs is rooting for me, but betting against me, so I have to finish it to teach him a lesson about doubting his awesome wifey.

I am a lover of checklists, so here's mine for the next 10 days:
1. Sew my first bedding set---ever!
2. Finish all planned crochet projects
3. Mobile
4. Hoop art
5. Wreath
6. Bunting/Banner

....  I feel like I need to keep going.  You know, because that's not enough!  Just kidding.  This is MORE than enough!  This will keep me busy for two months, but I am hauling ass and kicking it into high gear.  When I get back home with my Little Someone, I just want to take billions of pictures of my cutie in her custom-designed, MOMMY-made space.

 Wish me luck!

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Tummy Tuessday:: 31 Weeks

Today, I am completely FINISHED with hiding the fact that I am nesting like nobody's business.

What is "nesting"?  I like to think of it as a pregnant woman's completely psychotic, undeniable, and irresistible urge to get everything in order before she gives birth.  Included in this insanity is everything from deep cleaning, re-organization, mass purchasing of all things the mommy thinks she might need, creating a space for the new baby, and in some cases, relocation all together.

I actually started nesting around 20 weeks, but I hid it from The Hubs.  We were in a bind financially, as a few unexpected (read: $3000) extra things popped up that we'd have to come out of pocket for.  He's such a wonderful person and he loves to spoil me.  I couldn't handle watching him crumble under my psychotic tantrum about wanting to prepare for a baby that was a full TWENTY weeks away, when we had more pressing issues that needed our attention.

Now, we are back on track financially and a whole lot closer to D-Day.  My mind is literally spinning every single day.  I spend an unhealthy amount of time researching nursery d├ęcor and ideas.  I am constantly asking other Preggos what they are doing and what they think about designs.  If I am to be honest, I am actually making myself completely bonkers!

First, I can't do anything about these feelings.  I have tried everything to NOT think about preparing for the baby, knowing full well that everything will work out in the end.  I have tried stress eating, sleeping more, exercise.  I have even tried watching scary movies to take my mind off of things, and I can't.  Nothing works!  Secondly, so many things are out of my control: budget for decorations vs. all the baby gear we are still lacking; I suck at interior design; and we actually don't have a "nursery", but we have created what will be a "Baby Nook" in our bedroom.

The Hubs is the opposite of helpful.  Our conversation two weeks ago, regarding preparations went like this:
Me:  Baby, we have, like, NOTHING for this little one.  What can we do to get the ball rolling?
Hubs:  What do we really need?  The baby will get a full wardrobe of clothes from your baby shower, I bet. We can get your parents to buy whatever larger items we might need.  So yea, let's just wait it out and see what happens.
Me: (mental panic, daydream of acting out in aggression, several deep breaths) First, I am not sure what anyone might buy for a baby shower and it's completely unacceptable to think my parents will fund this baby.  They weren't in the bed with us when we made it, so I am thinking we need to take a little more responsibility.  I think of the parents as an emergency fund.  And waiting?  FOR WHAT?  My vagina to explode and then I have to send you out to get all the wrong things three times in a row before you get it right, while I sit on an ice pack, cracked out on medications with one screaming baby and an 8 year old who is used to my undivided attention?
Hubs:  Oh my God.  It's happening, isn't it?  You have Pregnancy Psychosis, don't you?
Me:  What the hell is that?!  Do you mean POSTPARTUM psychosis?  Uhm, no.  You have to BIRTH a baby to end up in that situation. I am nesting... it's a whole different kind of crazy.  We need to prepare!  You know we need a closet for the baby and we need supplies.  And a freaking mattress for the crib?
Hubs:  Why do we need a closet/shelf?
Me:  (sitting up, glaring at him)  Do you have a magical, invisible wardrobe somewhere in hiding that we can put all the baby clothes into?  No?  Didn't think so.
Hubs:  I don't want to say 'calm down', but you need to take some deep breaths or something.  Honey, you are scaring me.  Why don't we run out and get some things tomorrow.  Whatever you want.
Me: (clearly out of my mind and inconsolable)  I have a VISION!  Do you know what that means?!  That means it's not about just 'running out and getting things'.  I have to make sure everything is the right color and looks perfect for my Vision!  And it's not only about acquiring goods, you know.  We have to move this, dismantle that, clean this, switch that, and put this here, and get these items from there.  And when we do get baby items, we will have to wash everything, EVERYTHING.  Are you up for that task?  I can tell you now, I am NOT in the mood, buddy.
Hubs:  Whatever you want.  I love you so much.  Just.....whatever you want.
Me: (feeling foolish) Ok, you're right.  We still have time.  I'm being crazy, but from here on out, we need to start making progress.  I love you too.  Don't divorce me, please.
Hubs:  I can only keep that promise so long as all this nonsense is gone by the time you're no longer pregnant.
Cue: Kissing & making up.
So this week, I am focused on creating a space for the baby.  I am going to make a definite list of decorations to make and those that need to be bought.  I am also going to coerce, I mean CONVINCE, The Hubs that we do want to use cloth diapers for our Little Someone, so we can buy those too.
Hopefully, I will have some great projects to show for all my mental breakdowns!  Ha!
Happy Tuesdays!