Monday, October 15, 2012

Ground Zero Construction Site

It's a bright Monday morning here.  Loving the weather.  Loving that I will not burst into flames if I stay outside for too long.  Yes, summer has come and gone for the year.  Now, all that's in my sight are beautiful trees with colors changing and all the new fall colors coming out to play in everyone's wardrobe.  When I was younger, more brazen, and much thinner, I would prefer summer because I could parade the streets scantily clad.  Now that I am older, and I have a family of my own with a reputation to uphold, I am more apt to keep my clothes on and I have to admit-- Autumn colors really go well with my skin tone!

Enough of that though...  I am here to explain, or confess, rather, why I haven't been posting much and why there haven't been many pictures involved...  They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so here is one:

This is what my art studio looked like in 2010, I think.  It was a holy hot mess, but I didn't care because then, I was working third shift and I completed most art projects in my staff office at work in the middle of the night.  MAN!  I miss those days!  Eight full hours of uninterrupted time for art projects.  Lots of desk and table space so I could see what I was doing.  But, that came to an end.  I got a new job.  I also have to admit that several projects were damaged as I transported them from my home to work and back every day.

So then, I got my shit together and cleaned it all up!  I even set up a spot to take pictures.  You can't see it, but it's behind the dress form wearing the orange loop scarf I was working on at the time.  You are probably wondering where I am going with all this....  Let me show you.

THIS is what my art room looks like now.  GAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!  <--  That is the only way I can describe my thoughts and mental state when I so much as think of going in there to work.  How did this happen?  Well, simply put:  I had a party to plan for and no time for cleaning.  EVERYTHING that didn't belong in other parts of the house were thrown in there.  This party happened in December 2011...and I have not been able to face the truth that "someone" is going to have to go back in and reorganize and clean.  I have an even harder time facing the undesirable truth that the "Someone" is going to have to be ME.  As you can see, it's a mission impossible to get from the doorway into the room, let alone to clean it.  And dragging out everything that was carelessly thrown in is...well, FUCK THAT!  It's unfathomable!  My whole apartment would be a disaster, ground zero resemblant catastrophe!!!

Or at least it was until this morning.  This morning, it hit me that my scale is 5 pounds off.  Every month, I get bloated when my Aunt Flow visits and I vow to spend the 3 weeks in between cycles working out like a maniac to lose weight.  Every month, I find excuses not to get off my ass and then, before I know it, I am laid up somewhere, bloated, exhausted and pissed off.  Now that I have officially identified my scale as an Evil Bitch with a desire to make me self-conscious about my appearance AND a liar, I have decided to live with more PURPOSE!  And I mean that in all walks of life.

From today:  No more 5 hour sprees of watching TV.  No more planning social outings/events during my daughter's school day.  No more skipping a work out for a nap.  No more late nights spent snacking and watching TV.  No more skipping meals because I am too lazy to cook.  No more eating out because I am too lazy to cook.  No more money wasted on art supplies until I clean my art room.  No more procrastinating with the cleaning of my art room.  No more avoiding Blogspot because I feel incredibly guilty about not posting due to not having a space to be creative.  No more putting off important phone calls.  And most very importantly:  No more procrastinating with opening up an online shop.  Dammit, it's been 5 years of waiting and then being afraid and then putting it off and starting the cycle all over again.  It's done.  I am done. 

Time for a change.  And I am NOT falling into my old "End of the Year Habit":  Waiting for the New Year before I make some serious life changes.  I never maintain any resolutions, so I think it's time to just get my shit together.

PROMISE:  The art room will be clean TODAY!  And new posts with completed projects will be photographed and posted about in the coming days.  Til then-- GUTEN TAG :)


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