Monday, November 8, 2010


Sigh... my first night back to work in about 5 days. I am so tired, I think most of my body has gone numb with exhaustion. Each blink lasts about 10 seconds instead of one. I have done everything to stop myself from completely crashing for the night. I have loaded myself with disgusting foods-- Shrimp Cup Noodles, Coke, 2 Peperoni Lean Pockets, Sprite, Chips, Mr. Good Bar, and entire box of Nutter Butter Cookies... Thank goodness I am in the home stretch. I am running out of things to eat! All the sugars and fat have my mouth and teeth covered in a film that tastes like vomit from all the mixtures of disgusting malnutrition I have consumed, all within the last 2 hours.

Tonight was a relatively good night at work. Perhaps I should have thought twice before returning to work and accepting to work 2 double shifts back to back. I have to make it through one more hellacious night tomorrow. Only tomorrow, I have no intention on eating nearly as much in order to stay awake! I will try to use conversation, which failed me miserably tonight because I kept slurring my words from exhaustion. I will try to write some pen pals back. I am behind in letters. I couldn't make this happen tonight either. I kept having to use my correction tape because my sentences made no sense. Most importantly, I will work out. Before bringing in any craft items to work on (because I will be too tired to lift a finger) I will bring in my work out items. I will also pack a huge edible survival kit of high protein items (whatever that means) and vegetables with dip. Oh my! I just stared at my now empty paper towel, where my Lean Pocket once was, and thought of eating the napkin!! I am going crazy!

Well, well. Projects! Let's be honest, do you really think I finished all of those things? Apparently, when I am home, I am not interested in doing art. I would obviously rather spend time with my three year old and cook good, wholesome meals. I did start to work on a purse/tote. I tried to make it significantly more complex than I have the skills to execute. It took me two and a half days to realize that what I was trying to do was beyond my skill level and I ended up changing it completely, meaning I started over. So now, I have about half of a bag out of everything on the list.

The good thing about my little Christmas list for pen pals is that I will be back at work for the rest of the month. While at work, I am inspired and completely compelled to finish work that I plan on. If all else fails, I know I can start and finish a project at work.

I just had a very vivid vision of me frantically brushing my teeth with my head all the way back as I simultaneously squeezed globs and globs of toothpaste from a never ending tube.

Well, I best start my tasks for the night. One should be finished in the next 20 minutes... I am not sure whether this is to happen or not, but it can't hurt to try. I think I will learn French online as I work to start and finish all my work in the next hour or two.

More later....

1 comment:

  1. *hmm* Consider your behaviour in the previous week NOT as failure according to your project, but better as quality time with your daughter! :-)) For sure, your little sunshine girl had appreciated that a lot to have her Mommy with her all alone!