Baby Rainbows

Good Morning!

Well, I mentioned in my last post that I have been working on a new project.  It's a baby blanket :)  Well, in time, when I am completely finished, it will be more than a baby blanket.  I can't wait to finish it.  I haven't worked on a project in Months!  Probably some time in October was the last time I was working on anything.  It was a scarf...and not even one that I planned to wear! 

I love making things for babies.  I don't know why, but as soon as some gets knocked up, I start cranking out ideas for new projects.  Lucky for me, I am positive that we are going through some sort of Baby Boom due to the economic crisis.  I have never seen so many women pregnant at the same time!  And that's good news for me because it gets my wheels turning, my mind goes into craft overdrive.  I guess there's something about creating a new life that gets me motivated.  Anything goes when it comes to kids.  Lots of colors, prints, designs.... I have a HUGE imagination, and I get to let it run completely wild when I am making things for children.

Whoa..... I just found out if you push "enter" and you aren't careful, your post will be published automatically.... very weird!

Enough babble, let me show you what I have so far... Be patient.  The lighting in my apartment is terrible, so I'll show two of each (with flash & without flash) but nothing is as true as seeing it right in front of you!

No flash

*Flash*

No flash

*Flash*

I really love the rainbow color on the outside of the flowers.  It's Simply Soft "Baby Brights".  As you know from some of my other projects, I am obsessed with rainbows.  My friend is very traditional and I think she would be more appreciative of pastel baby colors, so I worked with what I had in my hefty stash! 

I have been working on paying off my debts so that I can just start to save... I haven't been able to come up with a specific reason to save, but I am 100% committed to paying debt.  That means all of my projects will have to be very decisive.  No purchasing yarn just because I "think it would look good for a project one day".  It feels good to have to start exercising restraint and being responsible for a change.  It's been a long time since I have made a decision and followed through with it 100%. 

I will admit that I have been ...cheating.  I just NEVER EVER SET FOOT IN A CRAFT STORE!  I am running out of the off-white/cream color for the African Flowers.... I am going to have to walk into some store to get more of it.  That is when my restraint and discipline will truly be tested!  Stay tuned to see what happens....Will I sprint into the store like a maniac escaping the police, buy ONLY the off-white color I need and then run out of the store like my ass just caught fire?  Or... will I browse for an hour and leave the store with $100 worth of random items to use "for something one day"? Goodness, I really hope it's the second option! Wish me luck!!!

Happy (Late) New Year!

Well, Well..... What have we here?  Finally, my FIRST post in the new year?!  Let me tell you, I wasn't planning on making such a late post.  Back in....October or something, I came up with this phenomenal plan to start posting at least once per week.  I even thought about doing some posts in advance and having them set to show up later.  Anyway, it was such a great idea, but I feel into my "usual nasty habit" : PROCRASTINATION.

Oh my Goodness!!!!!  It is such a poison to my existence!  hahahaha  .... Oh wait, it's not funny!  From now on, I am taking my issues with waiting until the last minute for EVERYTHING extremely seriously!  I mean it.  No more waiting around.  What happens every time is I come up with a grand idea...but for whatever reason, I just have to wait for something magical to happen...for the stars to align...for me to see a meteor shower...for me to lose 50 pounds...for me to have another baby...for me to travel the entire world... and Theeeeeennnnn I start whatever plan I thought of.  But, as you know, after all that, I usually have no freaking idea what the hell I was so excited about!  Or worse, I am bored with the thought of it because I have been thinking about it like crazy but I haven't DONE anything!

No more of that.  I didn't make a post because I thought about the ideas until I got sick of it.  Then, I had some personal crazy-time nonsense that happened in my little world.  I wasn't able to think of anything creative to do or anything nice to write about.  I thought my whole life was about to go through a very serious (negative!!!) change.  I was so worried that I actually "unplugged" for a while.  No facebook.  No texting.  No blogging or blog reading.  No emails.  No snail mails.  I just cleaned my house like a maniac and tried to figure everything out in my head.  Lucky for me, my universe never collapsed, but now I know that it could very well happen one day.....

I have learned something from all that.  I shut down and shut everyone out.  I just cleaned my house and sat around inside my head.  I made it all about the negativity.  I did the WRONG thing!  Rather than turning to the arts, I shut the arts out of my life.  I never handle stress or disappointment that way.  Who have I become??  After three months of handling all the difficulties and trying to get everything back on track, I am left with no motivation.  I am just totally worn out and feeling totally lost.  I hate that feeling.  Maybe it's true that I feel  lost, but I AM NOT LOST!

Back in college, while studying fine arts, I remember speaking to a professor about my lack of motivation.  I started to struggle with depression for the first time in my life and I didn't want to do anything.  Professor (weird name I can't pronounce) told me that when I can't think of what to do, it is MUCH better to do SOMETHING rather than nothing.  I never understood that until this past weekend.  I have been sitting and thinking and pondering and planning and thinking some more.  Finally, I picked up my hook.........and I started to make random motifs.  I must admit that I don't like any of them.  The colors looked like vomit.  The designs were boring and uninspired (like me!). 

But, I feel like I am finally working again, like I am back to expressing myself.  The funny thing about it all is I realized that I am irritated with crochet, but I have a DEGREE in FINE ARTS!  I can do all sorts of wonderfully artsy things!  And then all of a sudden.... I am back doing research for new ideas, projects, techniques; I am pinning things on pinterest;I am facebooking with my friends, working on letters for my pen pals, whipping out my color pencils, acrylics, and rulers to start working on some paper project ANNNNDDDD(!!!!)  I came up with a crochet project that I really am excited about.

This year, I know what I want for myself.  Almost a MONTH later, I finally have my "New Year" resolutions!
1-- Get the fuck out of debt!  I am ready to shop and try new things without feeling guilty/ financially irresponsible!
2-- Lose 50 pounds. I've had some medical issues so it's time to drop some weight and start feeling good again :)
3-- Travel.  I have not gone on ONE single vacation in 5 YEARS!  That's so not me!  I used to travel all over the place several times a year. 
4-- LIVE FOR MYSELF!!!!!!!  I am a mother, wife, sister, daughter, youth counselor, friend........ all of those roles are draining and a lot of times aren't more rewarding than they are draining.  I need to stop being guilty about creating balance.  I am doing things for ME this year that I was afraid to before.  I am not devoting all my time to work and family.  I am taking time for ME this year that I always felt terrible for desiring in the past.

These resolutions seem simple and ambiguous enough for me to accomplish them.

So.... What about you???  How do you get back on track if you lose your artsy mojo?  How do you handle stress or being overwhelmed?  Do you have plans for reinvention for this year or will you continue down the path you began last year???  I'm always curious for a "taste" of others' lives!

........what?  A post with no pictures?  Ohhh noooo!  LOL :)  I didn't have any pics that would make any sense in this post.  I will definitely have pics to present you with in the future posts! Until then-- Happy Be-Lated New Year!

Just a Taste!

I don't even think I can consider this to be a "Sneak Peak" at all.  I just wanted to SHOW something!  Anything! 

I apologize in advance for the terrible picture!  I had to take it on my phone, since my camera and cord to upload pictures are both missing in action.  I can't help but imagining this weird idea of the two running off somewhere to a warm beach for a picnic.  They are on strike and refusing to be used and over-worked!  The really funny thing is I can't stand it when people make a post full of terrible pictures from their phones!  I even have seen this on "professional" blogs.  The whole time I am thinking, "Wha-huh?  Is that a shoe?  And eyeball?  What the hell is the point of all this crazy picture-mess?"  But, in my case, I didn't have much of a choice.  This, I hope will be one of the last times, but who knows what will happen in the future....... my cord and camera may choose to remain in hiding forever, leaving me with nothing but my camera phone.

OOOKKK!!!!  So enough of the blah-blah and on with business!

I made this poncho for my Little Darling.  I thought that I was finished with it, but then I realized 2 things:  (1) I think I need to line it with something so that it's warm enough to wear under a sweater on a cool day.  I have some super cute fabric to put on the other side of it!  But I have to do that after I take care of #2...

(2)  The Hello Kitty thing I tried to crochet soooooo did not work for me!  I kept messing it up.  Then I found an embroidery pattern in this book

I bought this book several months ago.  Obviously, I don't speak Japanese......and apparently I am TERRIBLE at reading patterns. Hahahahaha!  I can't have the diagram OR the words.  I only understand patterns where there is a diagram, a picture, AND word instructions.  I tried to crochet a Hello Kitty face, but it didn't work out.  Then I was like, "OK, Mr. 'I'm gonna make this too hard for you', I am going to figure out an alternate solution to this, so take that!"  That's when I grabbed the embroidery pattern that you see for the blanket above/next to the hat. I found out that it's too big for the little square.  So now, I am on the hunt for a smaller Hello Kitty face to put on the front.

Either way.... This is what I have at the moment.... and it is "evolving" as time goes by!

Again, sorry about the low-quality picture!  I have never made a poncho before. My Little Darling has been begging for one since the summer..... I love this one and I can't wait until it's 100% done and I can show everything in vivid detail ANDDDD show what it looks like on my Little Darling!  So stay tuned for my "finishing touches"....and definitely stay tuned for the other cute little wintry items that I have made for her!

Have a great weekend!

PS------ If you are interested in making something from this book (which totally was $60 PLUS shipping- *CRAZY*) just leave a comment with your email address and I will scan the pattern and email it to you.  I am not sure whether posting the patterns here is a bad thing or not.  This is an out-of-print book, maybe written by a dead person.  So I don't know what copyright laws apply to old books by dead people (no disrespect!!).  But I do know that sharing patterns, books, ideas, and so on is the exact same thing as if I said, "Yea, girl, go ahead and borrow my book.  Just give it back whenever you are done".  I mention all the time how important it is for me to SHARE in the world of creativity, so hit me up if you want a pattern from the book.  I won't post it here, but I will email it to you so we can share :)

Thoughts on a Rainy Thursday

Hellloooooo Blogland :)

Normally a groggy, rainy day would be discouraging, but I am finding it rather nice today.  My allergies are in complete disagreement with me, but my soul feels more at peace.  This Autumn season has been surprisingly warm and comfortable.  There have been several days this season that I have been able to walk around without sleeves.  THIS is the Kentucky that I remember when I moved here.  Last year was a freak of nature!  It got cold so soon and actually stayed cold.  I just kept wishing and praying every day this past spring that summer would come soon and stay for a long time!  I think my prayers were answered.

But, now, I am finally trying to focus on things like: WINTER//CHRISTMAS//COMFORT MEALS//A WINTER JACKET//PARTY PLANNING

The holiday season is the craziest time for me.... With Thanksgiving {party planning}, my brother's birthday, my Little Darling's birthday{party planning}, another brother's birthday, Christmas {shopping}, New Year's {party!!!} and then my sister's birthday {PARTY!!}!  GAH!  Just thinking about it is actually super exciting.  I looooove giving and making gifts!

Right now, I am planning 3 things at a time...which is not my strength.  Ha!  You will shortly see that 3 things is really 30 things balled into 3 categories *blushing!*

Thanksgiving menu:  It'll be my very first Thanksgiving that I cook and stay at my home with my family.... scary!  Last year, my friend who did her first Christmas at home asked me when I planned on setting a family tradition of my own.  I honestly hadn't thought about it...so my response was, "I dunno.  When my parents are dead?"  BAD ANSWER!  So I am now rummaging through cook books, magazines, and websites for interesting meals/dishes to create for Thanksgiving.  I want everything to be perfect and tasty.  You will surely see an atomic explosion from my apartment if someone doesn't eat what I have worked so hard to prepare!!!

My Little Darling's birthday party:  She declared that she wants it to be a pink fairy party!  I am not one to be very girly, but I am excited to make pretty, fluffy things for my daughter.  I am excited to bake again and decorate.  I used to host dinner parties all the time, but that hasn't happened in literally YEARS!  Now, the only time I can look forward to hosting guests and decorating is during her birthday.  You better believe that Martha Stewart and I have become verrrry close this week as I gather ideas!  I just can't wait.  I have wanted to do a fairy theme (I don't know about the pink part) for about 2 years, but I always let my Little Darling pick.  Last year was rainbows, the year before was a zoo theme.

Christmas presents:  I am being considerably more selective this year!  For the past 2-3 years, I have shelled out over $1500 on gifts.  I can't do that this year because I am not working full time. But I also don't have the motivation to do that this year.  My younger brother & sister are now 12, and they only care about electronics and such.  Daddy handles the "big gifts" for them.  The Christmas spirit has died down in our home.  Everyone wants to sit and do their own thing.  While growing up, we used to have family and friends over.  We played music and danced and played cards.  That hasn't happened in a long time.  This year, The Hubs and I have decided to make our own little Christmas.  So we will only buy gifts for this household (and not 30-40 gifts!!!) and we will stay home.  I am still going to hand make some thing for some people.  Last year, I crocheted several scarves for friends...this year... I think I want to do something completely different....  I think I want to make things from paper this year...... Ok, I literally just had this thought RIGHT NOW... so I need to let it marinate and think of exactly WHAT sort of paper gifts I will be making, but I hope it's awesome.

So those are my 3 things for the moment.  Thanksgiving Menu, Pink Fairy Party, and Paper Christmas.

I am sorry I don't have any photos for this post to show what I have been working on (and what I just finished-- CUTE CUTE CUTE!!!) but I can't find the cord to upload my pictures!  And now, as I look around my living room, I just realized that I no longer can find my camera either!  GAHHH!!!!  I will find both and make a couple of posts this weekend.  I am still in the process of doing my deep cleaning for the week.  I am sure everything will turn up as I clean.

Until then--- Have a Wonderful Thursday!

Snailing Along

I am not sure if I have mentioned it or made it clear, but I was just thinking today, while watching Avatar, how much I love to write letters.  I started snail mailing about a year ago.  I can't believe that I started something so long ago, and I am still totally interested in it!  I started with about 40 pen pals, mainly from Europe.  And then, I went down to less than 20.  I preferred that actually.  I like being able to write long letters to people, with no stress about time or anything.  I used to spend hours and days responding to all 40 of my pen pals.  Lemme tell ya!  It's really expensive to pay for packages, postage, cute letter sets, and everything for 40 people!  So I was happy to be able to invest the time and money for just a few.

Then, I lost my job back in May and I just.... I don't know.  I wasn't depressed or anything, but I just didn't know what to do!  It was like when I decided I wasn't finishing grad school.  I didn't know what to do with all the time.  I didn't have 100s of pages to read, papers to write, community service projects. I just had work and motherhood, and those two things were kicking my butt!  But eventually, I filled that time.  And I felt the same void after losing my job.  "What am I gonna do all day?  Just me and my Little Darling?  Together? Alone? All day?"  It took a while, but after a few months, I got the answers to all of those questions, and I am just as busy as if I were working a full time job, part time job, and going to school 12 hours and doing my practicum 25 hours per week.  I know, you're thinking, "Do wha'?  How in the world did you manage all that in a week?!"  I would say the answer is obvious:  I DIDN'T!  Hahahahaa!  That's why I am here, focusing on what matters most out of it all, Home.

As I was figuring everything out, I didn't write any letters... And lately, I have been back!  I have been decorating paper...

I am not great at making stationery, but I love to decorate my own letter sets!  I wish I knew how to duplicate some of my favorite designs...



My favorite thing to do use a crayon to lightly color the paper, and then use rub-on stickers.  I also like to do some small doodles myself.  Whenever I have some time, I am going to find a high quality copy/print service and see if they can make copies of my papers. That way, I can create and copy piles of them to have whenever I write.  I can't even recall some of my favorite letter set designs! 

Going through my random archives on my phone gallery, I found these that I made for some pen pals.  I wrote my letters inside of them:

The quality of this picture is terrible because it's from my phone (in bad lighting)!  These are little envelope book thingies for me to write in.  The strawberry was the first one... my trial version...  The cupcake one was MUCH better!  

This is what's inside the cupcake one.  I had fun making this, and I hope that my pen pal who got it enjoyed everything inside!  I can't remember, but I am sure she loved it - LOL.

This is also some fun stationery that I made for one of my favorite pen pals.  We stopped corresponding over Christmas 2010.  I really enjoyed writing her, so I am sad about that.

This is another letter I wrote to her.  I made all the pages with this fun sort of graffiti looking pattern.  I wish I had made some better pictures or at least a copy!  But I didn't.  I also made the book behind the letter.



This is what is inside the book that I made.  She is very artistic and she was great at decorating paper for my letters too.  She also made me some cute things from felt.  I wish I knew how to make such cute things from felt!

I also love to make envelopes...

I have envelopes that I have made in all shapes sizes and colors.  I just pulled these out of my stack in order to be "Festive"! HALLOWEEEN!

I love a hand-written letter.  I love that personal touch.  That kiss and a hug with a pen and a stamp.  I love that someone special out there would take the time to sit and write to me, think of me, share with me.  I love the chance to do the same thing.  I have made some GREAT friends this way.  I hope that one special day, I can meet every pen pal in person.  I would love to surprise them with their next letter by handing it to them in person.  I am not rich!  And I definitely can't haul my Little Darling all over the world to meet and greet everyone I have made a friend.  But a girl can dream, right?

Well, I guess I better get back to writing!  Good night!

Oooh La La -- TA DAH!

Welp. I said it, didn't I?  I am back again with another post.  I am pretty proud of myself for making time to share today.  I know the past few times I said that I would make another post, I disappeared.  With so much going on these days, I am sure it's understandable that I may not have time to post, but I wish I could have time for everything!!!

This winter, I planned on a "surprise".  Well, I still don't want to say what it is.....or have I already?  Oh, shoot!  I do that all the time!  I can never remember things.  Oh well, as far as I know, I haven't said anything about what it is, so I will just continue on that path.  Anyway, I wasn't anticipating a sore wrist and working double hours at work, or the winter items for my daughter (I started on a CUUUUUTE hat/scarf set for her tonight at work!) or her Halloween costume....  But, still, my original plan, when I made it 6 months ago or something, was to announce the suprise after Halloween.  It kinda sucks that Halloween is in a week, and I am not as well equipped as I thought I would be, but I am still going through with my plan.... no matter how Terrified I am! More on this topic of "Surprise" later!

Anyway, I guess I will cross that bridge when I get to it.  Until then, I am excited to show you what I finished last night:

I was going to make a "Sneak Peak of the Week" post, but I was so close to being finished with it that I figured I might as well just complete the project! 

I was looking at some different stitches from different patterns, became inspired, and I thought "I would love to make a scarf that had this pattern!"  I was going to fade from black-navy-aubergine-magenta-purple-red wine-pink..... but after I got to magenta, everything looked crazy!  So I ditched my super colorful idea, and went for something a little more pleasing to the eye. 

The pattern is a really simple one that I made up.  I'll share the details below :)

Chain 34 to start with.  Dc in the 4th ch from the hook and in the next 3 ch, *ch 3, skip next 3 chains, dc in the next for chains*  Repeat from * until you are at the end of the scarf.

Chain 3 (counts as 1st dc) and then dc in the next 3 dc *ch 3, skip next 3 chains, dc in next 4 dc* Repeat from * until then end of the row.

You can just keep on going until the scarf is as long as you want.  Is it too wide?  Do less than 34 to begin with!  If you decide to make one of your own, tell me about it!  Blog about it!  I will be pumped to see what others can come up with to improve upon my little creations!

 Sorry about the crazy angle of this photo.  I was on my way to work this afternoon, and I just knew that if I didn't have all the pictures taken and ready to upload Before I went to work, I wouldn't even bother with it when I came home. 

Last year, I made several scarves for Christmas presents.... and then I wore them all at some point or another.  Hahahaha!  YES!!!  I am sooooo embarassed to admit this!  But, I know that they must've smelled wonderful when they got to whomever I mailed them.  This year, I promised myself that I would NOT wear any of the scarves I made.  It's super hard because I just love scarves.  It's my favorite winter accessory, next to ear muffs :)  I hate bulky coats, so I run around all winter in the snow, shivering my bum off...with a HUGE scarf and some ear muffs LOL.

Well, I am signing off now.  I have a sweet tooth (at nearly midnight!!) and I am about to make some brownies and work on joining the squares on my sunset blanket.  Yep, I still got it!  I am still chugging away at it slowly, but I think as I am baking and waiting to be able to eat my brownies, I may actually finish connecting the squares.  I am almost 1/2 way done with that part of the process. And then I will just have to get my hands on an interesting border pattern!

Good Night for those who are state side and Good Morning to everyone who isn't!

What Happened?

That is what I have been asking myself non-stop here lately!  I secretly know the answer to that question, but I guess I hate to admit it......

I'VE TAKEN ON MORE THAN I CAN HANDLE!

Happens all the time.  I think I am super woman with multiple clones.  I over-commit to so many things and the result is inevitably the same:  I end up doing Nothing because I am too overwhelmed. 

3-4 weeks ago, everything went wonky.  I said I would try to work full time hours, which has been a kryptonite to my marriage.  I hate feeling selfish about things (and this is a daily battle for me) but I keep asking these question: "Why the hell do I have to give everything up in order to maintain order in the home?  What about my goals, my plans, my education, my career, my body?  What about ME?"  I really need to just sit and prioritize, remembering that when I have achieved all those goals it will have been for nothing.  My marriage will have completed deteriorated.  I will have a child who is a stranger to me because she was brought up in daycares and after school programs.  I will have a house, but no home...  Even though it seems insane, and even thought I have the answer, I still feel selfish so often and I want it all!  Why can't I do me...and then come home to a family that was sustained by my clone or something?

These days, I am forced to admit a sad truth:  As much as I feel called to social services, working where I do is really fucking hard!  I have bruises, fatigue, and I have trouble "calming down" when I get home so that I can rest.  It's gotten nearly out of control.  I feel like we are right there on the edge of reason + possibilities...and ultimate doom + disaster.  I don't want to walk that tight-rope anymore.  I have bad balance!

I also had to stop crocheting so much.  My wrist was (is) killing me.  I hate that, but I am right-handed, so if my wrist is useless, I will have bigger issues than my lack of yarn time... I won't be able to wipe my own ---- Well, you know!  I have a brace and that helps.  I also need to stay off the computer so much, which as you have noticed, means less posts.  Holding my wrist in this funky manner to edit pictures and whatnot just kills my wrist!

I also joined a Bible Study.  It's a BLESSING!!!!!  Can't say that enough :)  I needed empowering, supportive, REAL women in my life.  But it's also time consuming.  The study is all morning and then I ususally can't wait to go spend time with my friend for a few hours afterward.  It's an all day event.

So what have we here?  We have a damaged wrist.  Lack of projects to display.  Less time to get the same amount of things done in the day around the house.  Working DOUBLE the hours I was working.  An increasingly stressful and dangerous work environment.  A husband, who, out of nothing but love and innate obligation to protect me, who hates that I have invested so much time outside of the home.  And finally, my moment of clarity and connection with God, which is also time consuming.

THAT is what happened....... 

I do have some things to show, but I will start with that tomorrow.  I have been reading a lot about how people prepare their posts in advance when they have the time.  I am about to jump on that bandwagon!!!  I've got my photos done, and I will be back later tonight to edit them and start my chronicles.

Wish me luck! 

See you very very soon :)