OH HAPPY DAY!

Well, I have to admit that if you looked outside of my window, you wouldn't think that the title of this post makes any sense! It's yet another rainy, chilly day in my little city. I remember when March would get here and it would be scorching hot. This memory is coming from somewhere way back about 10 years ago. It's just so gloomy that all I have to keep me warm on a morning when I am home alone like this are those memories of being outside eating ice cream on a hot, March afternoon. I know that Spring isn't officially here yet. And I know that the raccoon or whatever the animal...Paqchatway? The little squirrel thing that looks for a shadow. I know it didn't see it this year, so that is a good sign! I am anticipating that Spring is just a few weeks away. And the good thing about Spring here is that it's really, really warm!

The title that I have shared has more to do with the projects that I have been working on.... and e-hem, the one that I FINISHED!!!!! Yes, that's right! Me! I finished something! For once in... well, let's not put a number on how long it's been since I've started and finished anything. I could do cartwheels and sing cheesy songs from musicals. That's how proud I am of myself!

Unfortunately.... I am going to make you wait to see what I have finished. Ha! Of course, you could just scroll down, but that wouldn't make any sense. Then you would have to scroll back up and read my post backwards. Trust me, I read magazine articles backwards all the time (an improvement from reading them upside down, I suppose) and I know that it takes some serious skills!

In my last post, I mentioned something about getting a little more creative with African Flower hexies. Well, I was at work the other week, and I started to work on this.


What is this? This is a sketch for a tote. My sketches are super terrible for someone who has a Bachelors in Fine Arts from an accredited university! The thing is, I am extremely visual, but I don't waste time perfecting the piece of paper! It's the doing that gets me excited!


So after toying around with these African Flower hexagons that were originally going to be for a scarf, I managed to piece the puzzle together into a tote. You would think that would have been easier, given my sketch, but you saw it yourself! Could you understand and follow that diagram?! Please, pay no attention to the mess at my work desk. I always have my laptop, phone, and snacks readily available. I like to watch a movie and text while I work. Makes the time go by much faster and makes me feel like I'm with people all night. And although you can't see it, I am usually reading an art/craft blog or two while working as well. Do I read the blogs backwards like I read magazine articles? NO! I read them in no order at all. I find the most interesting picture and start there and then skip around until I have finished the whole post. Try it! It will blow your mind!


This is what I have so far. I just need to finish sewing a few hexies together and add a handle for the tote and then decide how to line the bag....Should it be fabric? Will I do a crochet lining? I have seen crochet linings before. I think that may be too much of a commitment for me! It looks like a lot of tedious work...row, after row, after row.... I have a magical closet filled with fabrics. I will pick one and sew it in the bag. Stay tuned to see the finished (and yes, I shall FINISH! this bag) product!

However, I have to admit I had to abandon this project for a moment in order to work on a more time-sensitive project. I will get to that in a bit.

First, I am excited to announce that I am doing something for myself! I never make anything for myself... ever... under any circumstances whatsoever. Anything crafty or artistic that I make is always given to someone. Go figure! I don't even think to sell my works. I am perfectly happy with handing them off to someone. I like the smiles!

But I put my altruism on hold for a moment for this project


It will be a table cloth. I have had this dream of having this painting of a Bartlet pear and eggplants together and everything in the dining area will be this dark brown, aubergine purple, and limey-pearish green.


It seems a little colorful, but I think I am OK with that. I like color, and I am always playing it way too safe anyway. For the longest, I have been working to change everything to Black in my living room. And the walls are blank. For someone so artistic, I really don't take the time to utilize any of my creativity to save my apartment from looking as though we just moved in! I am hoping to change all that with my new table cloth! I am going to put a sheet of thin plastic over it. This thin plastic, of course, can be located in my magical closet of items from the fabric store! It pays to be a collector of random artsy thingies!


When it's all said and done, I will have the table cloth, some place mats, a runner for the table (I cook elaborate family dinners on most nights and everything is set on the table), some chair cushions, some pot holders, and let's not forget my painting of pears and eggplants! I am also thinking of a nice centerpiece for the table as well. I love the idea of fresh flowers, but my allergies prefer silk flowers. That final decision will be made at a much later date!

Oh! And that's the first granny rectangle I have ever made! WOOPIE!

This week, I noticed something important.... I really can't sew! In my grand finale of my finished project, I planned to include some sewn items. the truth is I can't sew anything more than a straight line... and even that usually looks like a question mark or a semi colon on some days!

I decided that my next order of business is to teach myself to sew!



Lucky for me, Hobby Lobby;, my local and all-time favorite craft store, has Simplicity patterns for just 99cents! Some of these patterns are over $15!!! And who said it would be cheaper to make your own clothes? By the time you have bought your $15 pattern and your $70 or so of fabric and notions to complete a single item in the pattern collection... You really start to wonder if it's worth it.

Of course, I have the answer to that question! HELL YEAH!!!!! It's SO worth it to see my Little Darling in a fresh Spring Collection of dresses and happy little ensembles made by her mother. That means, she will pick the patterns and decide the colors and which ribbons! But first I have to get over something......

I am terrified that my sewing needle will BITE ME! Laugh if you want to, but I have seen enough fashion design competitions on TV in which someone is getting eaten by their sewing machine. The screams. The pain. The blood... Yea. HELL NO! Not for me! My machine is not taking a notch out of my finger! And because of this minor phobia, I can't even sew a straight line. I keep moving my hand and watching the machine devour the fabric on its own. I guess I must admit--- I am not smarter than my sewing machine!

I have been dreaming of designing and making my own clothes since I can remember. So I stocked up on "easy" patters and I will begin teaching myself to sew as soon as possible. I did plan on giving an "easy" skirt a try this afternoon. We will see if I have time for such things. Something tells me I can find something safer to do!

As I am the Queen of Random Thoughts, I just had one... I will make another post dedicated to my finished project.... Hopefully it won't be the last.

Ha! And to think! You made it all the way to the end of this post.... expecting to see a little something, didn't you? Well, I will give you a little appetizer, a sneak peak.... but just a taste! You can check out the next post for the whole meal :)

Oh Baby!

HELLO!

It has been more than a month since my last blog post. I was really on a roll with things, but then I got stuck. The problem is that my laptop battery is dead. I am too lazy to plug it in and then wait for everything to start up. I can check my facebook, skype, and email all on my phone. I can send longer emails and web search while I am at work. I just recently realized a way that I can blog from work, since I have no way of getting pictures from my laptop to my work computer. I just have to email images to myself. I am hoping this is a solution to what has become a serious block in my updating this blog. We shall see!

The art show? Well, I try to always see the good in the bad. I didn't get a call for the show until a few days before. At that point, I agreed to pick up an extra shift at work since I didn't know if the show would even be taking place. I made $100 for sure during my shift, but I missed out on a chance to experience an art show.

I worked on a lot of things, but then I lost sight of the purpose as the weeks went by and I didn't get a call.

I realize now that I have to work towards some serious short term goals. Creating for the hell of it does nothing for me. I have to have a specific, nearby reason that I am creating crafts. The idea that one day I will be in a show or sell things online when I get enough inventory piled up isn't cutting it for me.

This realization came to me this week as I finished several projects! I am proud of myself! I even took my creepy craft room from this...



To this...



I have space to sew and a place for all my artsy how-to books.


I have space to store my huge bags of yarn and my easel.



This canvas will soon be painted with some vegetables and fruit for my dining room. I have this entire theme of aubergine colored purple and a green. This painting will be complimented by a table cloth and matching seat cushions! That's the plan at least. Until then, I am happy to finally have a SPACE to paint!

A few weeks ago, I was inspired to create something for a friend of our little family. They have been watching my daughter overnight for free while I work. I would never ask that someone provide a service without compensation, but let me just say that a reasonable amount of our income was going into childcare. One of the biggest portions we were paying was for a place our daughter could sleep. Yes, a spot for our kid to be unconscious for a night was putting some serious damage on our pockets.

This family, with their new baby girl, was really good to us for the past month. I wanted to repay them with some hand-crafted gratitude!



I started and finished this afghan about three weeks ago. I thought I was finished, but when I laid it out, I realized that I needed to add another row. I was totally bummed by coming so close to being finished with something (for the first time in a long time) that I have taken all this time to finish the final row.

I am making a point to finish the last damn row TONIGHT! No more procrastinating! This couple has just agreed to keep an eye on our daughter 3-4 times per week for basically the price of a value meal! I am definitely finishing the baby basket for them. This blanket will be part of a little ensemble of items: a smaller blanket for the carrier, a sweater/cardigan, a set of mary jane slippers, and a hat. As of now, I just have ... what you see!


This is my first afghan made out of hexagons. It's also my first *anything* made out of African flowers. I love making African flowers. They are so cute! I will be posting some crochet tutorials in the next 3 weeks or so. I have to decide how I want to do them (video/words/photos) and then...of course... DO THEM!

That baby blanket led me on a rampage. Apparently there is something that is going around in the water. Several friends of mine are pregnant and/or about to pop! I love babies. I also realized that my favorite source of motivation is creating for babies and children. You can be a colorful and creative... and maybe even get a little kitschy and crazy if you like, but it won't matter! Kids look adorable in everything!


Someone mentioned they thought that I was being a little "tacky" with all the colors for this blanket... Well, look at it now that it's all come together!




I started this project about 2 weeks ago for a friend whose baby shower is coming up soon.


This is the larger blanket. Again, this is part of a baby basket. I am really enjoying expanding my horizons and seeing what I can come up with as gifts...


I don't have much time left. This week, my priority is to finish the embroidery for the onesies, sew the bib, and finish the cardigan, hat, and slippers. Sounds like a lot, right? WRONG! When you create for a little person, everything goes really quickly!

It just took me one day to make this cute blankie...it's too large to be used as a carrier blankie, but I think it's too small to be considered an afghan. Either way, it's for a precious baby boy that will be born this summer.




Not bad for a day's work!

I guess this week will be quite interesting. I have a small checklist of items to knock out!

Baby shower gifts:
*Cardigan
*Hat
*Slippers
*Embroidered onesies
*Bib
*Small carrier blanket

Babysitter gifts
*Cardigan
*Hat
*Slippers

Baby boy gifts
*Jacket (cardigan, but that word seems a little feminine!)
*Hat
*Sippers (booties, for boys, I guess!)

I am also working on some sewing projects for my daughter. The first to sections are the most important to finish this week by Friday. After that, I am focusing on everything else as well as seriously hunting down some inspiration! I am doing a little experiment with African Flowers... I want to see just how creative I can get with them! That will all be revealed some time at the end of next week!

Seeing Stripes & Loops!

Well, it appears that I am able to make new posts on Wednesdays, so I guess my weekly tasks will go from Wednesday until Wednesday!

Normally, when I make some sort of statement in regards to starting and finishing something within a certain time frame, I end up never returning to the blog to post about my shortcomings. Well, not this time! I am proud to announce that I have completed FOUR projects (not just the Three) for this week.

For the time being, I am completely obsessed with making scarves. For a split second, I thought to myself about the potential of the fresh spring season being around the corner. I was also reminded of this while online shopping and seeing all the floral prints and light-weight linen pants. But, as I took a peek outside my window, I was reminded of something even more relevant: It's still snowing full throttle in most places right now...and the corner that the spring season is right around? Well, that corner is about 2-3 miles away right now. With that in mind, I set out to explore this new craze I have for making scarves.

It all started in December. I decided to make scarves for all my pen pals, a seemingly large feat. Once I got started, I realized that scarves are really fun and easy to make. Most importantly, I can start and finish them in almost one sitting because I am done with them before my complete incapability to resist the temptation of distractions around me and my short attention span issues kick in.


I made a scarf for a pen pal, who later mentioned she preferred pink & purple. So I took that scarf and started to wear it myself. Much to my surprise, nearly everyone who saw it asked me where I got it and how much it was for me to make one. Then, this little sparkle went off in my mind, and I thought, not for the first time, to myself: " What if I were to create more of these scarves? They are simple and quick to make. What if I changed the base color and had more design options?" It was just a thought at the moment with the intention of making the same scarf for a few people as Christmas presents. Needless to say, I never finished the gifts, but I did manage to make two more scarves!


This black one has a different set of contrast colors, but I have to admit that I am not really excited about this color combination. Instead, I think that the contrast colors will remain the same and the main colors will change for each scarf.


I prefer this white main color to the crazy contrast colors of the black scarf. But, in order to redeem myself, I plan to redo the black scarf!

I would like to think of myself as being able to create for men and women, but there is something about creating items for women that is both more exciting and more interesting to me. I get bored when I think of all the browns, blues, greys, and blacks for men. All I see is an enchanted rainbow world of possibilities when it comes to creating things for women & girls!

Then, I was web-browsing... or whatever the online shopping equivalent to "window shopping" would be called... on Bloomingdale's website. I was in the accessories section because, well, no matter what happens to me financially, I would only be able to "splurge" on an accessory from such an expensive, high-end store. Even still, I rarely find something within my budget. At any rate, I found this amazingly chic crocheted cowl neck scarf or neck warmer.


I couldn't find the image again for the longest, so without the visual reference, duplication was impossible. That prompted long hours of internet research on cowl neck scarves and circle scarves. I was so excited about the results, I immediately started to make circle scarves, neck warmers and so forth. Obviously, Bloomingdale's neck warmer is of superior craftsmanship. It is so sexy and sleek! I don't know if I will ever be able to pull off something of this magnitude, but man, I am committed to trying!

As for my personal artistic endeavors, I used these inspirations as a jumping point to begin my own little journey in the crocheted accessory world. These are the scarves I have completed thus far (in addition to the two that I have given away), but I have some new ideas in mind!

I really love the way this can be casual or dressy. I don't want to give it away... but something tells me I would be better off if I didn't choose to keep everything I made!



I especially like the sequined yarn. You can get it at Hobby Lobby. I am not sure if these stores are nation-wide, but I know I have access to three of them here in Kentucky/Indiana! Either way, you can order online. It's decorative, sexy, and most importantly, soft on your skin!

I will definitely need to get some lamps to create better lighting. This is thinner and made with a different brand of yarn.


All of these circle scarves are made with multiple strands of yarn. This one was made with four strands: magenta, royal blue, dark purple, and black. It's the Caron Simply Soft yarn that you can get almost anywhere, even Wal-Mart.


This week, I really want to focus on being unique. I think that anyone can make a simple striped scarf. Anyone who knows how to connect a crocheted chain into a loop can easily make a cowl neck scarf or a circle scarf. I want to push myself to see what other ways I can present the same basic concept!

Here is a sneak peak of what sorts of things to look forward to next week.



I just recently learned to make African Flowers. If I can find the tutorial, I will create a link for it next week. This week should be interesting!


Wish me luck!!!

The Power of THREE

First, and foremost, WELCOME TO 2011!!! How exciting it always feels to start a New Year. New Promises. New Hopes. New Dreams. New Plans. And, of course, New Resolutions.

Around this time last year, I found myself confronted with ONE HUNDRED resolutions. I could have just made a bucket list, but I felt really strongly about each goal...so much that all one hundred plans became resolutions for the new year. Needless to say (because we are all well aware of my affinity for never finishing anything I start) I did not finish even a quarter of the list. I now know that 100 resolutions is plain ridiculous. Making lots of resolutions is just as nonsensical as making the same resolutions year after year with no progress-- I will lose weight. I will find true love. I will travel more. Honestly, just because the date changes, doesn't necessarily mean our motivations and life circumstances have changed. Knowing that mine haven't, I chose to base my resolutions on this.

Every week, I want to do the things that mean the most to me THREE times per week. In all actuality, that's a simple task, especially since I already do most of these pleasing activities anyway. In an effort to create balance in my life, I wanted to really work hard at being consistent. Also, I like the number "3" a lot.

Last year, and for the past four years now, I haven't been taking care of myself. I haven't been living a full life. I have been sludging through the chaos and bullshit day in and day out so much so that I got to a point where I didn't see the importance of finishing anything. I would just pick up each day, right where I ended and time had no value. I was a robot, slaved to my monotonous life of daily drudgery. I love my life, folks, don't get me wrong! But don't you ever just feel it? Where you are not living your life, rather you are just existing in it. You are playing the role, rather than writing the story of your life? Well, NO MORE!

Someone once said that they read my blog and they had no idea what it was about. Ha! They are correct. If for the past 4 years my plan has been to never have a plan, why would I be able to maintain any sort of focus in a blog? Well, this year, that changes. This year, I will blog about THREE things... food, art, and entertainment. All the good things in life, right?

The things I will be completing THREE times per week, you ask?

1- Working out. I keep myself stressed, and I fear my health has finally begun to suffer from it, so I will be working out in some way in order to release some tension... or you may see videos of me acting out stupid crimes due to lack of stress relief.

2- Cook! I LOVE to cook, but only because I love to EAT! I am really good at eating!!! I want to try 3 new recipes a week. Just three. Last year, I would make entire 5 course meals based on new recipes. Then I would hate myself and hate cooking because I would experience the wildest stress from trying to read, memorize, measure, and prevent house fires all simultaneously. Only occasionally was I successful at this self-inflicted horror of a multi-tasking challenge. And less often did we enjoy what I was cooking!

3- Art projects. I am always working on something, but this year isn't about putting in the work. It's about finishing the work I put into each project. So this year, I will finish something-- well, 3 somethings to be exact-- every week. They don't all have to be the same media, but something will be completed three times per week. Just so we are clear on how serious I am-- I have 3 projects for this first week of January that are almost complete. I will have them finished on Sunday, as will be the case every Sunday for my trio of projects.

4-Have FUN! I don't care what form this comes in. I want to hang out more with friends, talk more about nothing on the phone/skype, get more pen pals to exchange letters with...MORE FUN! I already laugh almost all day as it is (and usually at myself), but I want more connection to people. More date nights with my husband. More sister time with my Sisi. More girls' nights out. Dinner parties. Dancing. Drinking... well, I am not very good at drinking these days, so that won't be done in threes! But I do plan on taking more people up on their offers!

5- Learn French. As of right now, I do not have the money enroll in my local adult education class. And I also have absolutely NO idea how to pronounce about 87.624% of the words in the French vocabulary, but there are other ways to build my understanding and knowledge of the French language. I have already raided my library of all French related items!

I think those are all fairly simple feats. I am always working on an art project. I am a married mom...we have to eat somehow, and let me tell ya, it's usually not because my husband, in between working both his jobs, has chosen to come home and stand in the kitchen whipping something up for the family after a long night & day's work! I carry around my booklet on how to pronounce French words. I hypothesize that in about 2 week's time I will be able to sound out words without the book! The hardest things for me to do is work out (because I am usually cooking, eating, or sleeping when I could be running or pumping iron!) and having fun. Yes, I am giddy all day, but I hate putting forth the effort to do something... or go somewhere... or be seen by someone. I'm not much of a hermit or loner, but I have lost interest in the "upkeep" process of making myself presentable for lunch dates, dinner parties, and cocktail hours. My challenge is to find that part of myself again!


So CHEERS to 2011! I look forward to sharing my progress!

Another Day... Another Dollar

42 Days Until Christmas

2/ 38 projects completed

5846/50,000 word written for NaNo

Well, I managed to do more than I planned. And less than I planned at the same time!

Yesterday was a sort of nightmare. I agreed to work some extra hours. I need the money. We all do, right? Hellooooo! Economic Crisis! Well, I wasn't expecting the three hours of overtime to be so eventful. First, a girl refuses school. She was supposed to go so she could have some time with her mentor. Obviously that was not motivating for her at all, and I wasn't about to push her buttons.

Then, after all the residents leave, and I am in chill mode, thinking I have three hours to get my NaNo time on, I am called to work in the school. Mind you, I have only even set foot inside of the school one time up until yesterday! I have no idea where anything is, where people are, or what to do. Even worse, I have to wake up a resident who doesn't attend school and drag her up there with me. It's about 8:30 in the morning, cold out and wet. The resident gets up and curses me to the high heavens as though I caused a ruckus at the school and snuck back to the cottage to make her get up early. Doing my best not to completely snap, I get her to take her morning medications and we walk. At this point, I am flustered, confused, disoriented, unorganized, and tired. I look like a crazy piece of hell. I knew Aunt Flow intended to stop in, so my hair is in braids, no make up, baggy clothes to ward off cramps... you know, a fump-a-licious mess! Even if I were wearing jeans and I did have on make up, everyone would have still had crap to say about me because of my hair. I guess I have nice hair, but it's thick and curly and I don't like to bother with it if I can help it.

On my way to the school, irate resident vomits... well, all over. Luckily we were outside and she hadn't eaten anything. It still made me gag. Not cool. I don't do bodily fluids! We get to the school and I am swept into a classroom with about 3 girls in it. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch a small glimpse of "Tall Caramel Delight". Yes, I give every guy who I am smitten over a nickname. It usually has something to do with sweets- ha! I love to eat!

I am immediately embarrassed. I look and feel like hell. I am also swallowing hard, trying to fight back the urge to vomit myself. Again, I do not do bodily fluids! I sit with the girls and then it's time to switch classes. We go down to an art room. Art, of course, is my thing. I didn't get to inquire much about the project because the *madness* began.

Brace yourself for a complete insanity of ramble...

The program manager calls to say irate resident has to stay back from work because she is too ill. Program manager becomes irate when she finds out I am at the school, rather than in the cottage letting irate resident sleep more. As program manager is cursing me, I am trying to diffuse situation by offering to get irate resident back to cottage for some R&R. Tall Caramel Delight walks in, completely throwing off all concentration. His good friend Loud Mouth Fatty begins to taunt and tease me as I am getting cursed and attempting to focus long enough to negotiate a solution. Loud Mouth Fatty then begins to tell me about how I need some "side dick in my life so I won't be so uptight".... Program manager yells "I love how people can just fuckin' decide what the fuck to do with my fuckin' time, well your time because you are actually there, but it's my time because I would be there now if you weren't"... girls are being rude & disruptive in art room... Loud Mouth Fatty "Imma hook you up! Don't wanna be up tight-- git done right. Ha-HA!!!"... Tall Caramel Delight ignoring me completely, as he tends to do. I hang up and go off on Loud Mouth Fatty... saying things that aren't very wholesome, Christian or lady like at all. Loud Mouth Fatty continues to tease me about how he knows I want "good dick"... and I explain that "this here (pointing to panties-region) is much harder to get than most men have the energy or intelligence to bother with".. then I suddenly become stressed, realizing that I lost irate resident. I came in and was rushed off to the classroom with the other girls and I didn't even think that I should be sitting with the sick resident as well or instead. Then, I chose to walk her back to her bed, but I was terrified she would pass out. Since she was so sick, no one offered to help me get her back. Understandably, I needed a chaperon. This resident is pretty obese and I am heavy as well, but my weight comes from height. I don't stand any chance of picking her up and carrying her the 3-4 blocks back to the cottage. I couldn't leave her in the road if she passed out. With no help, I find irate resident and take her temp again just to verify her being super sick. Another co-worker that I call Boobs Over Chocolate comes out to tease me... yes, I relive my high school days all over again every time I work with co-workers. I love being alone at night! I give Boobs Over Chocolate a quick grab of the man-boobs and head out with my sick, irate resident, praying that irate resident is able to make it back to her bed.

All in all... Loud Mouth Fatty promised to be an asshole, which is something I can always count on. Tall Caramel Specialty ignored me, which is something else I can always count on. The girls were terribly rude as if being horrible to people is the new "Cute". Boobs Over Chocolate laughed at me...or is it *with* me? Not sure... Irate resident made it to bed and actually felt somewhat better once back in it. Angry program manager chilled out and found someone to come in and relieve me. When my relief came in, she and I cracked up about the whole morning.

After that, I went grocery shopping. Much to my surprise, I spent $50 less than planned. I was good! Working 6 days per week, learning French, reading Lolita, and mini-marathon training doesn't leave a lot of time for cooking intricate recipes. The plan was to get something written for NaNo and to work on a project for a pen pal at home. Unfortunately, I was so sleepy by the time I got home at 2:45, all I did was put away the groceries, grab a hand full of grapes and pass out.

I meant to get back up, and I did wake up every two hours. I couldn't get out of bed. It was so comfortable. I think I staggered to answer the door to get a sweet package from my lovely pen pal in Bochom, Germany and then I grabbed another hand full of grapes. I slept until I had to get back to work.

The good thing is I was able type 4146 works in an hour and forty five minutes! This is 646 more words than I planned. Again, I went to that special place! But I am worried...

At some point today, I need to really think more about where I am going with the story. The main character is now female. Who cares what my gut is telling me. I want a Thudercat! I also now have 2 side stories that are happening in the past and present along with the main story. I need to do some sketches and character analyses today while at work. That will give me the answers I need to "embellish" my characters better. That will also help me to figure out where this complicated story is going!

And let's not even talk about a title! Ha! I literally at this very moment just realized that my book doesn't have a title! I'll let you know what it might be when I finish typing my 50,000th word!

Saturday: finish another gift and write 1700 words. I was going to take Saturdays off from writing, but I should plan to write everyday so that I am not in a mad dash to finish in the end. I shouldn't say that. What I meant is *so that I am not in a mad dash to finish it all in the end*. We all know I will be finished at least a quarter of the book in the last 48 hours!

Marching on to November 30th .... and then on to December 25th!

It's the Final Countdown...of 2010

43 days until Christmas

Projects completed: 0

Ohhhh.... What happened?! I am so confused! I am really bad with math, so that has to be the problem. The calculator has to be wrong! I just counted...well "calcu-counted" that there are 43 days until Christmas... FORTY THREE DAYS! Where did the whole year go? I am completely dumbfounded. Just a second ago, I revised my Christmas list. In the back of my mind, I was thinking that I should maybe cut a few items out of the list. Either I changed my mind about who should get what gift or I reconsidered who should get a gift from me at all instead of just a card and/or a friendly hug. Well, let me say this... not counting about 10 people who I spontaneously put on the *hhhmmmm... Lemme get back to you on that* list, I have 38 Christmas presents to make! That is almost one per day!!! I think I might have just soiled myself... Let me check!

Ok... just kidding about that last statement. I didn't shit myself, but I feel like I could spontaneously rupture at any moment! On the one hand, I am excited. I love a challenge. Nothing motivates me more than knowing that the odds are against me. On the other hand, this is going to be one of the biggest failures I have set myself up for in a while. Which brings me back to the positive side of things. When I get stressed and bummed, I totally engage in self-destructive things like: spending more time with friends & family, writing letters, completing art projects that have nothing to do with anything other than personal gratification and/or education, reading, cooking & eating amazing food, and shopping. Under normal conditions, I try to limit all of those things because they are all huge time-wasters in reality (with the exception of spending time with family, of course!). But in the rare situation that I get to indulge in any of these activities, I am always grateful. Even though it is supposed to be a "bad thing".

As someone with a gargantuan appetite for life, I have completely, and almost unknowingly bitten off more than I could ever chew, swallow, or digest.

Last month, I became super excited about this writing project for National Novel Writing Month. But then, I decided to challenge myself to finish all Christmas presents for pen pals by November 19th. But then I also decided that I wanted to make this really cute, colorful blanket... I was inspired by some multi-colored, slightly tacky yarn while in Hobby Lobby. But then I got back into making jewelry because I found these cute beads also while in Hobby Lobby! So then I went back to writing... but I couldn't think of anything to write. Marital problems began to boil over, and I became side tracked with ways to de-stress that didn't involve a shot gun or doing shots. When that died down, I was off from work, but spent most of those days hanging around with my daughter, completely unmotivated to do anything of importance. Believe it or not, I didn't even cook! After that, I decided more art and less cooking elaborate recipes, but then I went on a baking frenzy... I baked 3 cakes and 2 batches of cupcakes for the girls I work with. I also decided no more working too much so I would have more time for all these projects... and time to study and learn French. But then, I was offered so many extra shifts, that I couldn't say no. It's easy, yet stressful, work and it's over time pay. Then I went to the dentist. Terrible idea! Just bad news there... And so I became obsessed with my teeth and I was literally spending hours per day looking in my mouth and flossing very carefully. All the floss in the world won't make my wisdom teeth grow in. They will have to be cut out because they are happily residing under bones in my jaw. Since I will have to pay for that extraction, I chose to accept even more over time.

As you can see, the extra stress has me rambling like a mad woman! Where am I now with everything? I have portions of 2 gifts made for 2 pen pals. I have 1700 words written of my novel...which is about 18,304 words less than what I should have by now if I were on any sort of a writing schedule. I only learned one new word in French *bois*. I actually can't remember what it means, but I know it is pronounced *Boowah*, not *Boys*. It has something to do with water, mouth, or drinking...maybe cup. Who knows!

As of right now, I am going to be investing in some de-stressing techniques... like over eating, binge drinking, sleeping too much, avoiding my problems, and watching Julie Julia every single day because it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Somehow, in addition to those counter productive activities, I also plan to blog -- even if just a short note underneath a picture taken on my cell phone-- every single day as I countdown to my doom! I am pretty excited about it to be honest. These Cheeto's Puffs and Coke are a treat! I haven't had either in at least two months, back when I swore to cook more often and delete all trash foods from my diet, especially while at work.

The plan for tonight.... Finish the one scarf I have started for my pen pal. It is 2:40am. I have until 6:30 to finish it. That is approximately 3.5 hours of hard work... I can finish Julie & Julia and start it back over again in that time. I will also make my self a huge bowl-sized mug of coffee, plan out this week's recipes (Dude, I know! I have no time to plan and cook tons of recipes! But I love to cook!).

I also need to re-think some things for my novel. The main character was supposed to be female, but as I got lost in writing, she became a He. How did that happen? I don't have the slightest clue, but I know that I just completely leave this world when I write. I let the story go where it goes and I just hang on for the ride...so maybe the main character is supposed to be a male. But dammit! I want to see more Power Women on the scene! I will think about this over coffee, crocheting, meal planning and my movie. We will see what I decide.

The goal for tomorrow night, while at work is to finish another present and to write 3500 words. This is just a few hours of typing for me, so I should be able to do both. My goal is also NOT to watch Julie & Julia. Aside from my concerns about this odd obsession with the movie, I am genuinely becoming worried that I might damage the DVD and then what would I do with myself when I get stressed or bummed out? I would have to resort to all my other films, which are sinister, violent, and dark... more my style and preference, but they don't make me happy in the end the way that watching actors pretend to cook amazing French dishes does!

Until then... oh-reh-vwah! I have no idea how to spell anything in French except *BOIS*. But can spell all the sounds.

Cheers!

ZzzzZZZZzzzzzZZZzzz

Sigh... my first night back to work in about 5 days. I am so tired, I think most of my body has gone numb with exhaustion. Each blink lasts about 10 seconds instead of one. I have done everything to stop myself from completely crashing for the night. I have loaded myself with disgusting foods-- Shrimp Cup Noodles, Coke, 2 Peperoni Lean Pockets, Sprite, Chips, Mr. Good Bar, and entire box of Nutter Butter Cookies... Thank goodness I am in the home stretch. I am running out of things to eat! All the sugars and fat have my mouth and teeth covered in a film that tastes like vomit from all the mixtures of disgusting malnutrition I have consumed, all within the last 2 hours.

Tonight was a relatively good night at work. Perhaps I should have thought twice before returning to work and accepting to work 2 double shifts back to back. I have to make it through one more hellacious night tomorrow. Only tomorrow, I have no intention on eating nearly as much in order to stay awake! I will try to use conversation, which failed me miserably tonight because I kept slurring my words from exhaustion. I will try to write some pen pals back. I am behind in letters. I couldn't make this happen tonight either. I kept having to use my correction tape because my sentences made no sense. Most importantly, I will work out. Before bringing in any craft items to work on (because I will be too tired to lift a finger) I will bring in my work out items. I will also pack a huge edible survival kit of high protein items (whatever that means) and vegetables with dip. Oh my! I just stared at my now empty paper towel, where my Lean Pocket once was, and thought of eating the napkin!! I am going crazy!

Well, well. Projects! Let's be honest, do you really think I finished all of those things? Apparently, when I am home, I am not interested in doing art. I would obviously rather spend time with my three year old and cook good, wholesome meals. I did start to work on a purse/tote. I tried to make it significantly more complex than I have the skills to execute. It took me two and a half days to realize that what I was trying to do was beyond my skill level and I ended up changing it completely, meaning I started over. So now, I have about half of a bag out of everything on the list.

The good thing about my little Christmas list for pen pals is that I will be back at work for the rest of the month. While at work, I am inspired and completely compelled to finish work that I plan on. If all else fails, I know I can start and finish a project at work.

I just had a very vivid vision of me frantically brushing my teeth with my head all the way back as I simultaneously squeezed globs and globs of toothpaste from a never ending tube.

Well, I best start my tasks for the night. One should be finished in the next 20 minutes... I am not sure whether this is to happen or not, but it can't hurt to try. I think I will learn French online as I work to start and finish all my work in the next hour or two.

More later....